By SuzanneHonestly, is that not a title that pretty much sums it up?
Basically, once a girl gets to a certain age, the rest is just a battle against the inevitable. Against cuffed sweatpants with Reeboks. Against the elastic waist pant with matching embellished holiday themed T-shirt. (The message: Don't look at me, I look like hell, look at the glittery Christmas tree plastered on my sagging rack! Wee!)We could write a (really depressing) book about it. Called How Not to Get Laid. Ever.
These days, with all the products, procedures and advice at our fingertips, not looking old isn't as hopeless as it used to be. Janice Dickinson is 53. Glenn Close is 61. Here she is last year (above left).
Helen Mirren anyone?Sixty-three. Yep, there's a sister looking like a million bucks (right) while she cashes her social security check.
Wondering how they do it? Well, wonder no more. Charla Krupp has written the book on it. How Not to Look Old: fast and effortless ways to look 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter, 10 times better is chock full of tips, advice, how-tos and perhaps, mostly importantly, instructions on what never to do (i.e., the micro-mini at your age — for God's sake STOP IT).
How this gem of a book passed me by on release date is truly a mystery.
Fortunately, that's what friends are for. Mine showed up at my house recently, told me about the book, and then drove me to Books-a-Million and bought me one. Thanks, Jill! (And, no, it wasn't an intervention. There really is something in there for everyone.)
I've been mostly unable to put the book down since I got it.
Because I love you guys, I'm going to give you the basic outline:
- Cut some bangs.
- Lighten your hair.
- Tame those brows. (And stop over-plucking. I beg you.)
- Chic up your eyewear.
- Lose the heavy liner. (The thinner line is the up-to-date line.)
- Unmask your foundation.
- Manage your wrinkles.
- Put on pink lipstick.
- Whiten your teeth.
- Wear your own nails.
- Unmatch your wardrobe.
- Shorten your skirts (To just above matronly.)
- Slip into the perfect pair of jeans. (Gap Long and Leans per me and William Sledd.)
- Follow the three-bling rule when dressing for evening. (Super fun. The book explains.)
- Learn to love shapewear. (Oy vey.)
- Show some leg.
- Step into sexy heels.
The book differentiates between the "OL" (old lady) and "Y&H" (the young and hip way). Charla makes a pretty good case for cream blush, for instance, and gives us the new six-step method of applying foundation:
- Cleanse.
- Exfoliate (with a gentle mini-peel.)
- Restore (with a serum.)
- Moisturize (of course!)
- Prime.
- Apply foundation.
The book is still available locally at Books-a-Million, and the library has one (instead of the 100 they should have) copy that's (surprise!) overdue. And of course there's always Amazon.
I'd let you borrow mine. But you'd have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Find great beauty tips from Bizzyville's beautiful readers!
Smashbox's Photo Finish Foundation Primer. The silicone-based product minimizes pores, lines and unevenness to give a smooth, even surface. Foundation will glide on like glass.
- Jill
A base of f.y...eye! Use it and your eye shadow stays ALL DAY.
- Dominique, Neurotic Grad Student
Hempz lotion. It's not too greasy, so you can keep on typing after applying. Available from the Green Turtle Bay Health and Fitness Center, Dee at Details or Trade Secret at Oaks Mall.
- Rhonda
e.l.f. Buy dozens of different eye shadows for just a dollar. My favorite quad is Butternut.- Christa
Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Pink Lemonade. It goes on smoothly and looks incredibly natural.- Christa
L'Oreal Oil Free Eye Makeup Remover. Using any type of makeup remover containing oil makes my eyes puffy the next morning.
- Christa
